Do you identify as a woman or with the feminine spirit? Are you a people pleaser? Or maybe an introvert? Or in Ayurvedic terms, dominant in Vata or Kapha dosha?
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “what do I need right now?”
As a woman, ‘recovering’ people pleaser, introvert and vata dosha, I am all too aware that I rarely consider or voice my own needs.
Many of us seem to be naturally predisposed to putting others first and often forget, or consciously put down our needs and berate ourselves for voicing them or find it impossible to assert them. Is this something you can relate to?
👉 What would happen if you did assert what you need? Would you be disliked, rejected or judged?
Often the fear of being disliked, rejected and/or judged is stronger than the wish to assert or honour our needs. But here’s the thing. By not asserting your needs you are in effect holding yourself back from living your wildest dreams.
With this in mind, I decided to put asserting my needs to the test.
At first saying what I needed felt scary and unknown. But once I acknowledged and voiced it, I was able to do/receive/experience what it was that I needed and desired. And it felt really good. I have felt that each time I have honoured myself, my confidence has risen and I have been able to gain more clarity and importantly, understand why I need or desire whatever it is.
Of course, that’s not to say that at some point I won’t feel that judgement, rejection or dislike. But here’s the thing, that it is ok.
It is ok to be disliked, it is ok to be judged, it is ok to be rejected. And here’s why.
Each time we feel these things it is a reflection of ourselves being mirrored. The aspects of ourselves that need some care and attention. Being able to have insight into the part of you that is ready to be healed is amazing, because you can then start to process this. You might release, you might accept, maybe both or something else.
It all starts with one thing, asking yourself what you need right now/in this situation/for today etc.? Noticing and acknowledging the answer will help you gain clarity.
The next question: Why do I need this? Is it to help me survive/grow/assert myself? Is it an authentic desire from my soul or my ego?
Write down your observations and see what happens if you voice them.
Observe the experience and remember that all feelings, thoughts and experiences are valid and temporary and that you can learn and grow from this ✨
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